Greetings, I am back if you are
listening. Since I last wrote I have had to say good bye to my second
and final dog child after 13 and a half great years. Being a
veterinarian I am confronted with the emotions and decisions
regarding euthanasia weekly...and sometimes daily. Because of this I
felt prepared to send my lovely German Shepherds on to the spirit
world, let their energy be free of the flesh and go back to the
universe, perhaps to be a companion again someday. I was wrong.
Nearly one month before we actually had
to put Guinness “to sleep” I had placed an IV catheter and was
about to end her life because she had a bout of seizures and looked
so terrible and confused. But something told me it was not
time...maybe she would be a little better if I just waited. Sure
enough she rallied and came out of her mental fog and began to eat
and take her walks again.
So many adjustments had been made to
our lives, and our house, to accommodate the lovely aging ladies, but
it never bothered me. I felt I was caring for them as we care for
elderly humans. Non-slip mats in front of the dog bowls, ramps to go
in and out of house and cars and a an occasional piece of dried poop
found under a dog bed...well that got to be more frequent.
Living through caring for aged animals,
I realized so many parallels to human hospice...with one difference:
we can decide when to end it. What an important and difficult place
to be in. During my struggle I asked...”What right do I have to
decide it is your time to go???” “Do you want to go Guinness?”
“Should I have let you go sooner?”
So life is. Pain and sadness,
loss...but only all these things because of the joy, happiness and
comfort that comes to us too. Winding down the path of aging with
Guinness one day we came to a place where she was ready to leave the
world, my husband knew it, I knew, she knew it. We helped her pass on
and then I lay with her for a long while smelling her fur and just
taking in the sight of her. Over time it seemed the soul left her
physical body. Spending this time with her I realized how important
it is to be home with your pet at this special moment.
My story is not special or new, I know.
But I wanted to write this to remind myself and others that we go on
a journey with our pets and we are forced to see them through infancy
to geriatrics to the process of dying. I feel it is normal for this
to be challenging and sad and draining. We should expect for the
final months to push us to certain limits and to question our
decisions. It is normal to be sad, really, really sad to see them go
and to bawl at the moment of their death.
Word of advice...practice reality in
your mind on a regular basis. What I mean is; do not tell yourself “I
can't live without my faithful dog” but instead tell yourself “I
will cherish my pet while they are here and make every moment count.
I will stand by their side until the end and let them go with dignity
and peace. And when they are gone I will have enough love to give to
another needy pet and they will have something to give to me.”
Thanks for listening and I promise...no
more blogs about aging dogs!!!
